A little patch of grass

I decided to come to BA to take advantage of the city life before going back to Resistencia to see family but ever since I arrived the only thing I want to find is nature. I think it’s because I have so much on my mind. Today it is my goal to find a park, a nice patch of grass and get it all out in words.
I can’t believe I’m thinking about this………….did I really just tell myself- he could be the one? I never thought I would be here, now, thinking about this. I wasn’t looking and look what I found. When I left for this trip I vowed not to let myself fall because time would get the best of me. That the program would end and I would be left right where I started. Well what if he is different. I feel like my life is racing at the speed of light and as scared as I should be I can’t help but get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about the possibility of us being together. He makes me feel so happy, so special, safe and beyond all he makes me feel loved. He makes me feel like I’m back in middle school when you get that feeling in your gut. I don’t know what else to compare it to. It’s like someone grabs your soul and squeezes as tight as possible but it doesn’t make you want to cry- no it makes you want to shout in happiness(almost like the funny bone). The fact that I feel this way but am on the other side of the country is amazing, crazy. I’ve never felt this way before but it’s great.
I told my parents I wasn’t ready to accept a proposal but I’ve envisioned myself saying yes and being ecstatic. I never thought I would feel this way here and now. Let alone ever.
I, like hermonie granger, analyze things. Today as I sit on this lovely patch of grass am making myself analyze my feelings something that can be very dangerous to do but I think this time must be done. I have to ask if the fact that javi makes me so happy is blinding me from seeing anything obvious? I’ve been pondering it for a long time and my answer is concretely no. Although the fact that he makes me feel really great is a very important part of us there are many other aspects that lets me know this is true. We have been there for each other when one was hurting, we work as a team to conquer problems even when they deal with the matter of us, we have fun, we have both been mad and made it through, we bring out the best in each other, we have the full support of the other, we can talk to each other even when we are mad/sad/confused at each other, I can’t stand being away from him, I’ve met his family, we are truthful about everything, we know each other well, he knows when I’m thinking, we know when one is uncomfortable, he loves me, I love him, we understand that marriage involves two people………………….I could keep going on but I realize that although analyzation needed to be done it does not anymore. I am confident he is the one