Saturday, November 20, 2010

Guys always want to drive the boat

Day 1- step 1 explore every inch of the boat then claim rooms! Every room was only big enough to fit a bunk bed and be able to barely open the door. But t was ok because we knew we were not going to be spending much time there. The bathrooms were equally as small and we soon found not very reliable. None of this mattered because we were on vacation and when we sat down to lunch we forgot about it completely. As you can tell we get excited about food and I should probably clear something up. The food in Ecuador is great. I like almost everything I eat, the only problem is we eat a lot of the same things ( rice, beans and fish or chicken) So when we get on the boat and we have tons of fruit, spaghetti, VEGGIES, SALAD, WARM BREAD, PARMESAN CHEESE! All buffet style we can’t help but be overjoyed. Meals maintained the level of deliciousness for the whole trip. Our meals always had color and sometimes we were surprised with birthday cake or pina coladas. They even served us snacks of fruit, yucca fries(amazing) and empanadas. Fresh fruit juice was served at every meal (this is true for most of Ecuador) and milk and tea were available 24hrs.
Enough about food back to day one. After we met our guide we were told our first destination was the Galapaguera on Santa Cruz. This would have been our third time looking at turtles which honestly don’t do much. At all! We thought of just boy cotting it but in the end we decided to talk to our guide. He understood our frustration and suggested we go cliff jumping ( I must mention the week prior to this I kept expressing my want to jump off something high and the highest we could find was the local pier) We were all a tad nervous but much more excited on our hike to these said cliffs. When we finally arrive they are a bit more intimidating than expected. So I popped a squat at the bottom and decided to mentally prepare. I was able to work the nerve up to jump from the point that was about two stories high, maybe slightly higher and I even climbed back up to do it again. Having the time to think about yourself falling was exhilarating and a bit unbelievable. And I loved the group we were with because no matter what height you jumped from we always supported them. Some faced fears from 10ft and others enjoyed 3stories but the support was always the same! We spent our evening exploring the city of Santa Cruz. Listening to live music, visiting a bakery, teaching locals to hula hoop( we have a girl nick named hula hula because it never is more than 20ft from her). Buying $2 movies (and of course the ones in pure Spanish are the ones English speakers bought) and going to internet cafes. At 12 we stared our cruise to Genovesa. We slumbered sprawled out about the boat decks because sleeping in our rooms was all too logical for this once in a life time experience.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Vacation

Our one week vacation started on a small boat which took twenty three of us to Isabella Island. This ride took four hours and it happened to be a miserable ride. Five of us were sharing the backseat-the only place with a bit of fresh air and the view of the horizon. The rest were scattered about the floor and benches. It’s a good thing we are a close group. When we finally arrived we met up with the five politics students who were already there. We ate lunch and then the activities began.
The first day we were taken to the Galapaguera (turtle breeding station) and to see the flamingos. Isabella is one of the only islands where flamingos can be found. Most afternoons we had free to spend on the beach (white, soft, sandy beaches that went on forever) play soccer or volleyball, have music/snuggle/movie parties in the hotel.
Day two was spent walking over volcanic rock to the crater. Our guide was allergic to people and kept trying to rush us on. Several time we actually asked if we couldn’t make new friends and eventually got it out of that he wanted us to himself. After that we made a point to enjoy the hike and take our time. After lunch we went snorkeling in a little cove and saw all the nifty fish and a few seahorses.
Day three we took a water taxi out to some smaller islands. One where we found penguins and on the other we found marine iguanas galore and white tip sharks. This whole week there was a common theme of being boggled by the shear amount of animals. When we saw an animal it almost never was one but rather 7 sharks, school of fish, and harem of sea lions, 100’s of iguanas, 45+ boobies, and entire islands of birds. If I was just a tourist there is no way I would know that the majority of these animals are at risk. After the islands we jumped off the taxis and went snorkeling (this vacation was full of snorkeling, sorry for lack of variety. But every time was different for me) we saw things from Moorish idols, eels, sharks, turtles, sea lions, pencil fish, scar from the movie finding memo!
For those of you who are not aware, we are now ending one of the biggest la ninas in who knows when. This makes water extremely cold and land very dry. Two characteristics extremely opposite of the tropics. I just love my luck ;) but one of the good things is that the cold water makes the ocean very productive! More fish! More SHARKS 
None the less Isabella was amazing. It is exactly what I imagined the Galapagos to be. Warm. Two main streets. Sandy roads. Arrive by boat. Small town. Nature everywhere. long sandy beaches (where you could find cool tide pools, jelly fish, blow fish, iguanas and sea shells) clear water. If you are planning on visiting the islands this is a must see place!!!!
The night before we left Isabella the power went out throughout the whole town(a first in Isabella history). Two of my friends happened to be showering before dinner and you could hear them simultaneously yell NOOOOOO because they were both in the dark, soapy and without water. My hotel happened to be three stories with an open roof so we headed up there and enjoyed the fabulous stars. Even the two in their towels  after about twenty minutes they decided they couldn’t wait any longer and went to the grocery store to buy three bottles of water. It looked very scandalous the two of them dressed in towels walking trough crowded streets to buy water and one beer. We had to take a picture. We fell asleep that night with four twin beds pushed together, ten people huddled close, and watching toy story three on a lap top. GREAT NIGHTS <3
On the fourth day we woke up and got spoiled with another fantastic breakfast. This hotel fed us real bread and fruit. Plus warm milk for good tea and coffee. Heaven! And then we were off for a two hour boat ride to Santa Cruz (the big city of the archipelago) I made sure to take some meds before this one! This time we were split into two smaller faster boats. The drivers were playing/racing and then we stop in the middle of the ocean and the captain comes down and says ‘bano?’ a slight giggle fills the boat. We made it to Santa Cruz with just enough time to find COOKIES before boarding the cruise ships. These weren’t just any cookies. No, they were chocolate chip! Homemade! Warm! The most similar to American since the US! Big! Delicious! With happy tummies and excited minds we boarded our respective cruise ships and awaited adventure.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

sometimes we all need to feel small

The ocean has enough water to dilute any problem upon which my boat sails
Even if every piece of salt was an obstacle to cross, sailing here I know that each one is very small and each one can be dissolved.
The magnificent waves crash upon the worried rocks which harbor my islands of dreams
Sandy beaches, the dreams within reach, await my wet landing
With time I will learn how to mount my dreams that lay upon islands with daunting cliffs
I lay out on the deck which has been weathered by the salt of the sea
My eye on the horizon where the sun slowly begins to tuck itself in, leaving us with skies painted pink and orange
A peaceful caress before it leaves us for the night.
While the sun is at bay the starlit sky leads me to new lands
A shooting star reminds me to expect the unexpected
I slowly drift off to a land of dreams with the steady motion of the give and take
With the sunrise’s kiss I open my eyes to find that although I was at rest everything continued in motion.
Some fear this sense of insignificance but it brings me comfort
If I am only a small part of this picture the things that make up who I am are even smaller.
My fears, wants, failures…….all just a tiny tiny speck of a stunning image.

that tone of voice

Yesterday I experienced a feeling which I have watched my parents express often but never really understood why they had a depressed tone of voice. I work in an English school here and have formed a significant bond with my students. There was one in particular I had a hard time with in the beginning. He refused to do work and when I asked a question I would get the shoulder shrug everytime. He sat in the desk right next to the door, half in his seat and half out the door. Over time have been taking notice on what interests him and what catches his attention. Right before vacation I was able to get him to participate in class and when we took a field trip I cohersed some one on one time with him. And I saw his desire to learn. His desire to succeeed. After seeing this I felt like I needed to do everything in my time here to open him up in the classroom and to help him succeed. After being gone for a week I arrived back on the island with a desire to get back to my students. Monday afternoon I was walking home before class and I saw this student sitting at the concha. And I heard myself say in a very depressed tone-he is going to end up just like his parents- now f you are not from san cristobal you probably see no problem with the child sitting there. But the majority ( or at least those he was with) are not very cleanly, some are unemployed or have low paying jobs, middle aged men who make nasty remarks at young women, and some I have seen walking the streets drunk late at night. At that moment I realized why I had always heard the statement the way I did. I also realized why my parents worked so hard to be good role models. Because although someone has the potential to do great things, to become something more, why would they if all they have known their whole life is something less. But if this something less seems to be working why would one put in more effort?
For this reason I would like to thank my parents for putting in the effort and teaching me that anything is possible with work and sometimes a little help.
I would also like to sent out a general thank you to the teachers who are able to inspire students to man an effort. For those students who have no other positive influence and those who need a friendly reminder. Have encountered several teachers throughout my life which had the ability to inspire me in different ways ( Mrs.Atkinson, Mr. Fischer, Mr. Green, Mrs. Sievert, Mrs. Burk) and I hope that one day I may be able to inspire others.

the sound of music

Lately I have found myself listening to one song on repeat all day. Sometimes for more than one day and they are not normal super catchy songs. I catch myself not realizing what mood I am in until I stop and take notice of what I am listening to. Today I discovered the power of music. Its ability to embrace me, my mood and its ability to comfort me in different ways.
Choir music- I first realized the choir music’s impeccable way of embracing me in its arms my senior year of high school. It doesn’t attempt to cover up my fears but rather it helps me face them. Shows me that my fears and I can coexist. It lets me cry. Lets me get lost in long held notes, but lifts me up. Senior year after the car accident choir was my only place of escape. The whole school ached to be of help but there was not much we could do. But we could sing every song like a simple prayer. Ave Mara and Omnia Sol held our hands and helped us overcome this helplessness. Forty people sitting in a circle, all bodies in contact. Singing from the soul. Tears running down sweet cheeks. We all inhale together stabilizing each other from the inside out. Our sound swirls around us and its echo lifts us up to the skies. So why am I listening to it now? Here in this place of paradise? During this experience of a life time?
Two reasons- 1. I miss people 2. I know pain is coming soon.
I put this music on and close my eyes. I can feel the sounds caress. Inhale with forty people and am lifted to the sky.
Salsa music- It has a way of reaching parts of myself I do not reveal to many. The canción puede ser feliz o una triste, no importa, siempre llegara a mi alma. El otro día un amigo me dijo ‘para bailar salsa con una persona que sabe bailar y también entiende las palabras es algo mágico. Ya sentí esa mágico unos veces pero nunca sabía exactamente que fue. Lo pude sentir la diferencia, no sentí el mágico cada vez que baile con una persona aquí. Ahora mismo puedo pensar en unos pares de chicos con quien sentí el mágico. Es algo bien distinto. No estás bailando sino estas sintiendo la persona. Dos cuerpos moviendo juntos. Cuando el otro siente dolor tú también lo sientes. Tienes que leer los sígnales del cuerpo (un mano que sube suavemente, una cara que toca la tuya, un abrazo que se pone más fuerte) entender los palabras que no están dichos y los que están. Responder a los sígnales, los palabras y la música con tu cuerpo y con todo tu alma. Juntos pueden perderles en salsa. Estar perdido con una persona por tres minutes si es algo lindo. Algo mágico
A song can be happy or sad, it doesnt matter, it always finds its way to my soul. The other day a friend told me ‘to dance salsa with someone who knows how to dance but also understands the words s magical’ I have already felt this magic several times but never knew exactly what t was. I could feel the difference, I didnt feel the magic everytime I danced with somone here. Right now i can think of a few guys with who i felt this ‘magic’ Its a distinct feeling. You are not dancing but rather you are feeling the person. Everyone can relate to the lyrics of salsa but we all relate in dfferent ways and discovering that is somthing special.
Two bodies moving together. When one feels pain you too feel it. You have to read the body signals (a hand that slowly moves up, a face that touches yours, a hug that tightens its grip) understand the words which are not said and the ones that are, respond to the signals, the words and the music with your body and your soul. Together you can get lost in salsa. To be lost with a person for three minutes is something beautiful. Something magical.
All music has its own power, most of the time we just don’t take the time to stop and think about it.

Friday, October 15, 2010

mind vomit

I've been thinking....probably too much, as usual but here is what came out.

Noches de lagrimas
dias de dolores
parece que el sol se escondio
y la luna esta buscandolo
alguien te hizo dano
y ahora todos tienen miedo
como un pajaro de cancion
necisitas contar una melodia bellisima
canta para que todos saben que no estan solos
juntos podemos sobrevivir
toma mi mano y juntos nos vamos a buscar el sol
volveremos la luz a nuestras cielos de tormenta
para que se conviertan a cielos azules.


He who took advantage of me wounded me but who scared me was he who had my trust but made the bad decision not to help.



impact- when taken in the right direction it is a wonderful thng but three steps to the left is a giant cliff. Thank god we have two steps to play with.

when we are oceans away
forever in my heart you wll stay
forever with you i will be
give it time and you will see
me and you are ment to be
in your hand ill leave my key
because you know everything that unlocks me
one day of this heartbreaking distance we will be free
no ocean, mountain or canyon can keep you away
my love for you will never sway
so while we remain oceans away
remember forever in my heart you will stay
and forever with you i will be
because you and me are ment to be
one day you will cross that deep ocean
forever you can not hold in your sea of emotions
take my hand while you still can
lead me back to your distant land.

I met you not looking for love
a lock was fastened to my emotions
not wanting to let a single soul in
troops surrounded my heart
because saying goodbye to another was something i couldnt take.
but my barrier you happened to break
these types of emotions i can not fake
you'r the honey to my tea
i feel like you are the one who completes me
everything is better when i am with you
i can feel when your eyes see me
from across the room your gaze can caress my face
people say it all happened too fast
but you've known me my whole life
nothing bad could feel this right
you know how to light all my dark nights

posse
It may start as a condfidence booster but its not long before it starts tearing me down. My heart can only be tempted so many times. The boy who cries wolf has no right to shepard my emotions. The right he may not have but it seems the job he has taken. My community of logic has stopped responding to his call. When the real wolve arrives who will be there to answer the call?


Tainted Spirit

'you' have saturated my mind with evils one can not see
sweet words
opposing actions
loving touches
coarse caresses
knowing looks
changing eyes
constructed truths
dense lies
desired offers
unreliable follow throughs
Its time for me to clense myself of 'you'
how to do this i'm not so sure
i didnt ask for 'you'
yet that is what i seem to have
i'm tired of feeling your evils making me blue
in order to not have 'you,' i cant be me
my mind knows there is no one else i could be
so i return to this all too familiar place where i ask myself-what am I to do?-
I try to ask others for help
but the ones i go to don't understand
they all wish they had 'you' so they cant see what exactly the problem could be
if i could loan 'you' out for a month or two maybe they would see
see how destructive your false friendship is to me
together we could find a vacine
give ourselves the tools to ward off your symptoms
a way to preserve who i am
an extra layer of protection
so that your evils can't taint my soul
as long as i am living i have time to free my mind of your saturation.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Nothing suprises me anymore

So many things here are just different that a lot of times I cant help but laugh at what i stumble upon.

1. I have four walls and a roof to my bedroom but I seem to share it with nature.
roommates 2010= one friendly lizard, 10+ anti-social spiders, multiple flighty warblers and finches, one soon to be dead cockroach, several hardworking ants, MANY selfish mosquitos and a very confused fly. I also get the occasional visits from stray dogs, and kittens.
the lizard seems to perfer the bathroom which doesnt bother me except when he suprises me in the shower. It is already so small and when my friend scares me by scampering up the shower wall there really is no place to escape to.
I was thinking the other day that if I was anywhere but ecuador I would not let all these lovely roommates be around. Spiders would be on the blacklist and a bird in my room would just not happen. But here aslong as they respect my personal space I let them hang around.

2. I walk to school somedays around 9 in the morning and have to pass by the pier which is along the main street. On any given day I can count atleast 40 men over the age of 35. Of course they all give me THAT look. The look I cant decide wether it gives me a confidence boost or creeps me out. The occasional man will say hello or try to start a conversation.....and sometimes I really want to talk back just because I want to meet more people but I remind myself that I need to go to school. But the thing that most interests me about these men is the fact that they are not working......nine am is a pretty prime time to be at work. Are these all unemployed men or what the heck are they doing sitting on the pier shooting the bull?

3. On my way to school this morning i was crossing the street and it was near a man sitting on his motorcycle parked on the side of the road. As I pass he begins to pick his nose and then continues ask me if I want to go out with him.....where I am from.....how beautiful I am....all the sweet talking. I tried to hold it together as long as possible but I couldnt help but let out a little giggle.

4. I am volunteering at an english school from 4-7 everyday and work with kids ages 7-14. Each group has the two or three kids who insist on flirting with me. One little boy even hit me but used it as an excuse to hold my hand to apologize but didnt let go. But this is not what suprised me. What suprised me was that when we were talking about music I would say 90% of the boys said their favorite type of music was romantic. In the US I dont think we even know this genere. And I am positve that even grown men would not admit to it being their favorite.

5. As most people know I am always in the mood for ice cream.....I never get sick of it. Well there is a place here that serves two flavors of soft serve everyday. It cost one dollar for a cone and I visit this place often. My friend Jairo also visits equally as often but he is a local and knows the people who work there. He has introduced me to the older man that owns the place and the younger girl who just helps out. I have made friends with the girl and we both share the quiet friendly smile when we see eachother in town. But this old man.......this old man is always grumpy! I dont understand how someone selling ice cream can always be in such a bad mood. we have 28 gringos who go for ice cream atleast twice a week and he not once cracks a smile. So i have made it my personal goal to get the man to talk....and hopefully maybe smile and if I'm lucky Ill go for a chuckle. He isnt very responsive but I have gotten a I'm fine and one how are you..........Ill give it time but I'm hopeing to make this ice cream man a little jolly. He would probably sell more if he wore a smile to work. Just my theory though.

6. I was depressed when this one suprised me because this summer my mexican friends taught me that this should just be expected but...
A guy walked me home on sunday and expected nothing in return. didnt ask to see my room. didnt ask for a kiss. didnt try to hold my hand. But simply wanted to make sure I got home safe and didnt have to walk home alone. I just wanted to give him a big hug.......he has true friend potential haha :D

7. The use of a hairdryer at a street stand selling meat. I still havent found out what it was used for but it was used.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Galapagos

I arrived in San Cristobal Island of the Galapagos Ecuador!! The capital of paridise as they like to call it. This will be my home for the next three months. It is a city of about 6000 people so I feel quite at home in this small community but am often reminded by little things that this truley is a third world country. The school here is amazing. A beach is right across the street and our professor actually suggested jumping in the ocean during our ten minute breaks from class.

My family life is least then expected but I guess that is my own fault since I shouldnt have been expecting anything when I came here. I live with a single mom and three kids (8,11,15) My mom works during the day and goes to college at night. THe fifteen year old boy basically runs the household. My breakfasts are made the night before and left out for me to eat alone. usually consisting of crackers, eggs, an apple, ham(more like spam), juice,and tea. Dinner is made for me in the afternoon and left out for me to eat ALONE. usually it is rice and chicken or seafood......beans. always twwo things to drink and it is never just water. I really dont like the fact that I eat alone. one it is just simply lonely and two that is a major family bonding time i'm lacking. I really dont see my family often. They keep to themselves and if i come and casually do homework in the living room they leave the area. I almost feel like a burden. But at the same time I think they need me there as income. They are getting paid for housing me and I get the feeling that they need that money. Alot of times the mom doesnt eat at all. On the weekends they dont have dinner but rather just a snack like a juice box or two cookies. My host mom trys not to be a burden so i have no rules. I can come home when ever I want...she doesnt need to know where i am....I can bring boys home(as long as she meets them).....I'm not sure I really enjoy so much freedom. If i was living alone that would be one thing but i dont feel like part of the family if I have no rules at all.
Classes here are so INTENSE. Right now my teacher is trying to teach genetic evolution in a matter of two weeks. We have already had five quizes and one midterm, a project......and a 7 page single spaced paper assigned. And to top it off we all got a stomach infection from eating something bad. We were out of commision for three days the first week we arrived. But you can't say youve had the whole experience of studying in a 3rd world country till you have spent the night on the bathroom floor, made friends with the toilet, and visited the hospital and local pharmacy. Hopefully this is it! no more getting sick!

On sunday my class went on a snorkling field trip. We got to swim with sealions who are extemly playful and will come up inches from your face. twirl around you. pull you by the flippers. It is a little bit scary but as long as you dont encounter a male the interactions are usually just playful. We also went to a second location called kicker rock. There we saw a hammerhead. and many many many galapagos sharks and black tips. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever done. We also saw many cool fish, rays, turtles and jelly fish. I made friends with the naturalist on board and with a researcher who went with us. Very nice people and I may be able to bum a couple free trips from them.

If you have any specific questions you should ask. I'm full of lots of information but seem to have little time and when I find it I cant think of things to say :)

Will try to stay ontop of the updates! promise
miss you all SOOOO much

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Maquipucuna

As we step off the bus overlooking the Maquipucuna Cloud Forest our professor explains why it is named as such. He describes that the forest has the ability to extract the water from the clouds that remain at tree level. I thought I pretty much understood the concept but will never forget my observations of it while walking through the forest. Along the trails it was obvious that plenty of water was around. A hand placed on a leaf or on a tree would return damp with water. By my second day in this environment I couldn’t help but feel like the forest was treating me as it would a cloud. It hurt to smell the many different scents of plants and animals because my nose was so dry. My skin was begging for hydration, And no matter how much water I drank or how much I was surrounded by it I felt like it was constantly in a negative flow from my body.
This being my first real experience in a rainforest I was completely overwhelmed by the complexity of biodiversity. My eyes were on overload. The quantity of life I could not compare to anything I have ever experienced. There was almost no section of the forest unoccupied by some form of life. And the quantity of life which grew on other plants, epiphytes, blew my mind. In Alaska I am surrounded by huge expanses of green and water, but when I compare it to the green of the rainforest time and again I am thrown back by the simplicity of Alaska. This observation made me philosophize about the importance of numbers. Ecuador without a doubt holds the gold medal for biodiversity and if all we are worried about are numbers why shouldn’t oil companies plow over Alaska and extract every last drop of oil? Having said this I still value the Alaskan forests the same. Although I can count the different shades of green without the use of my toes I feel the forest plays its own equally important role. It will be important to explore exactly what role it plays and the importance of this role in order to preserve forests around the world lacking in biodiversity compared to the tropical rainforests.
As I mentioned earlier the amount of epiphytes was mind blowing in this type of forest. Epiphytes make their home on other plant forms such as trees, vines, and roots. The difference between a epiphyte and a parasite is the fact that an epiphyte does not take anything from the host plant. It merely uses it as a place to reside. On this trip we divided into smaller groups that way each group could look closer at a certain aspect of the montane forest. The group looking at epiphytes found that they grew on almost every type of tree present in the forest although it seemed they had more difficulty growing on trees with smooth surfaces. One could look in any direction and count hundreds of epiphytes. Up until this point I couldn’t fathom how this relationship worked, but it was obvious by the number of them present that it indeed was a successful relationship.
My group had the privilege of looking at the soil of this forest. After looking at the soil that all these different plants live on I developed an even greater respect for the montane forest. The amount of fertile soil is very very low. I was surprised that anything could really grow on it. The layers are divided up into several layers. The first layer is the leaf litter, about two inches. This relatively low amount of leaf litter can be linked back to the high rates of decomposition. Next came a layer of thin roots which acted as a net for holding in the next layer. The layer of ‘fertile soil’ was anywhere from 6 to 8 inches. Below this layer was a clay like substance. This layer is almost impossible to grow things on. We learned that when agriculture is put on this land it rids the soil of the root layer holding the fertile soil in making it almost impossible to grow anything after the agriculture is pulled out.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

field journal

As our tour bus inched its way up the winding dirt roads of the Paramos I couldn’t help but feel back at home among the tall mountain peaks of Alaska. Many mountains I have climbed over the years but this experience was a bit different. Exiting the bus at 4200m I was immediately greeted by the familiar chill of the rushing wind. Being from Alaska I feel like my survival mode button is always on. This day in the Paramos of Ecuador was no different when the wind wrapped me in its cold blanket I began thinking of how to stay warm, or how to survive.
As I looked around at the biodiversity it was clear I was not the only thing on the defense. The lack of biodiversity at this altitude did not surprise me for life forms would have to be able to withstand very harsh conditions. What did fascinate me was how the life forms adapted to the temperature and harsh conditions.
Most all plants at this altitude grew very close to the ground as a way to escape the wind. The cushion plants had developed several survival techniques to survive the cold. Just like me and my friends do when we get cold in Alaska, the organisms of the cushion plant get very close to each other. The closer together they grow the less space there is for the cold to get in. Another defense mechanism, not only the cushion plant but, many plants in the Paramos have developed to avoid the cold is to grow on top of dead biomass. The decomposition of the dead biomass results in a release of heat in turn keeping the plants warmer.
At this point in the trip all I could think about was getting on the other side of the mountain so it could protect me from the harsh winds. When we finally made it around the ridge and were sheltered from the wind it was obvious I was not the only thing aware of this shelter. Biodiversity increased immensely.
The plants ranged more in shape and size mainly because conditions were not so unsympathetic.
It became very clear as we made our way down the mountain that we were not in Alaska anymore but that we were stationed between the two Hadley cells which bring diurnal rains across the equator. Never had I seen so much mud on one mountain and I have seen my fair share of mud. As the tropic’s rain made its presence apparent I began to notice a change in the foliage. Many more plants with waxy leaves could be found and the plants started getting taller. The flowers also began to spread out because they did not need to be so tightly closed off from the cold.
It never ceases to amaze me how ingenious plants are. We encountered several plants with unique adaptations. One adaptation is the rosette. I saw two different plants with rosettes. One had it at the top and the other at the bottom. In both cases the purpose was the same. The Rosette was made up of dead plant. This outer accumulation of dead biomass allows the plant to grow on the inside where it is warmer thanks to the insulation of the rosette. Another adaptation I found incredible was the mucous protective layer. One plant secretes a mucous layer that protects its leaves from freezing. Native also use this mucous as a source of hydration. Other plants develope a sort of fur, adding extra protection from the cold. I couldnt help but feel a sort of sisterhood with the plants of the Paramos. As many alaskans, one main goal of the biodiversity of Los Paramos is to increase their cold resistance. Wether they do it by adding more layers, by joining forces, or by limiting exposure it is a must for survival. Los Paramos are not only important for their biodiversity but also for the role they play in the lives of Ecuadorians.
In the classroom I had been told that all the water used in Quito came from Los Paramos but until hiking them I found it very hard to believe. How could the water supply for over two million people come from these mountains? From trudging through the mud and grassy lands I experienced firsthand how Los Paramos act like a giant sponge. I saw that it wasn’t just the earth that held the water so well but mainly the plants. As my professors pointed out more and more Ecuadorians are turning to these mountains for agriculture and farming. Both of which destroy the biodiversity. If there are no plants to hold the water this could be extremely detrimental to the two million plus people who rely upon it. And where can they turn for water?

transportation

Transportation. I’ve had the opportunity to take almost every form of transportation in Quito. I walk to school every day which is an experience in itself. As a safety measure I have made friends with our community’s security guard. He now watches out for me when I leave and when he sees me coming home. From Argentina I learned to politely ignore the guys whistling, yelling and using their words to get to me but in Ecuador I have the pleasure of walking by a construction site every day. These men not only use their words to get close but physically move closer as well. Luckily I can handle my Spanish well enough that they get the point that I don’t mess around. But after eight I’m told they are not so easily convinced. (I need to find me a gentleman who will accompany me to and from school I think). That is why I take cabs if I go anywhere at night. Here it is very important to make sure the cab is legit. Meaning yellow taxi, orange plate, license sticker, and one person in car……..They also have a service where you can call a cab but they will send a normal car. Over the phone they will tell you the car model, brand and color. When the car shows up the driver must be able to call you by name. This seems to be the safest way to go although I’ve never felt threatened in a cab. Most families also have a cab driver they trust and who they can call his cell phone to be picked up. Anywhere in cumbaya a taxi doesn’t cost more than two bucks unless you scream GRINGO then the price usually goes up. I’ve also taken a bus to Quito. I went with a group of Americans b/c it isn’t recommended to go alone. We even had the pleasure of making a transfer. And everything went pretty well. Thankfully we had an Ecuadorian with us so we didn’t get lost ha-ha. They love to pack as many people in as possible though. You can’t be afraid to get cozy  the bus from cumbaya to Quito is twenty five cents and the bus anywhere in Quito is also twenty five cents. It is a bargain but sometimes not worth the hassle.
The road systems are crazy here but I’m starting to think that is just a Latin American thing. There are no rules. People pas in stupid situations (I close my eyes and pray to god)(no mames no mames no mames haha) the person with the most guts has the right of way. They use their horn twenty four seven! It’s like a form or communication. There is no way I would attempt to drive here. Ever. Oh and if you ever come to visit….people do NOT have the right of way. They are not going to slow down for you so you’d be smart to hustle across the street or to wait till it’s clear.

hermanos

My brothers, Juan Pablo (5) and Nicolas (7), are quite entertaining. They have made my transition a bit easier. It is easier for me to relate to kids than it is to adults so it was nice having them in the house. My first morning in cumbaya I went downstairs to find my parents asleep and my two host brothers playing a game similar to Pokémon. Right away they asked if I wanted to be friends, of course I jumped at the offer and they shook my hand finalizing the deal. I usually eat dinner with my brothers and during this event the tv is always on. This is something I’ve grown to dislike. But I was not a huge fan of tv to begin with. Tv has given me some good laughs since I’ve been here though. Whenever Barbie commercials come on my brothers plug their ears and hide under the table. Well….because barbies are for girls. And every time shakira comes on tv singing juanpa gets up and starts dancing. He knows all her dances and isn’t afraid to show you. Nicolas is fascinated by my study skills and doesn’t understand why I circle some words and underline others. But he wants to know everything I am learning. Being here I’ve noticed how simple bonding moments mean so much more to me. From having Nicolas offer to share his cookie to me helping him pick the olives out of the salad when mom isn’t looking. One night juanpa was making faces at me while we were eating so I started making faces back. It turned into this huge game and ended with us both cracking up because nobody could catch us doing it.
Sometimes I notice things which they are leagues ahead of American children of the same age and then other times I’m taken back by some of the things they don’t know how to do or just don’t do. One example; the maid feeds them, like bite for bite. I’m sure it is not because they are incapable of feeding themselves but it is normal for me to see the maid put a spoonful of food in ones mouth walk around the table and put a bite in the others. Round and round she’ll go until everything is eaten.
Side note: This is not the first maid I’ve experienced in my life but I am still not used to the idea. The thing that bugs me the most is the lack of respect usually shown to the maid. I’m sure it’s part of the culture but it still bugs me and I think it always will. I appreciate that she cooks, cleans and does my laundry but I can’t help but feel bad for her sometimes.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

mitad del mundo

We went to a museum on the equator when we took the city tour of quito. but this wasnt your average museum. everything was outside and first we were taught about the natives, their history and traditions, of course we got to be tourists and take pictures straddling the equator. They saved the best for last though. the experiments....this is when i realized i truely am a teachers child, because i enjoy games and such when i learn something as well. We found out that water does in fact flow straight down while on the equator. we also did an experiment about strength and the effects of gravity. amazingly you can resist forces from another person much easier on either side of the equator than you can while on it. also walking in a straight line while upon the equator, arms out to the sides proves difficult because the forces pulling you in either direction.

Topics to look forward to! after chritina finishes her homework :)
! brothers
! transportation
!food
! quito
! school

trying to catch up.

The first saturday I went out was perfect. i went to a friends house and he invited the twenty some americans to his house as well. Since it was his birthday he invited about the same if not more ecuadorian friends as well. most of our time we spent talking, mingling, and drinking.....like any other party. Sam(20yr old frat boy who is very group oriented:) then gathered everyone in the living room and we played thumper. it was super entertaining with so many people. in the end three people decided to call it a tie and we headed out to a bar. But we were so many people that we couldnt enter so we got money togther bought refreshments and went back to the house. Put on some music and hung out. I convinced a guy to teach me how to salsa, merengue, and another dance which is what they do most often but i forget the name. It was a great feeling to make friends with true ecuadorians. something which i feel is going to be difficult but not for the reasons i previously believed. More so because all the people in the GAIAS program get along therefor we all hang out and since it is comfortable we dont ever seperate. This is bittersweet. when in a forgien place all alone it is nice to have the familiar and its a great safety mechanism for going out (safety in numbers) but i came to learn spanish, to learn the culture and to know people from ecuador...which proves difficult to do when surrounded by americans with our own traditions all speaking english. So even though i am beyond thrilled to have this group i cant help but feel we will also be a hinderence to eachother.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Ecuador

First impressions! from the moment quito came into view I was mesmorized! I had never seen a city look like that from above. It was like it had a sort of glow. Its hard to explain but the lights were all downlit lights so its like the city had this personality that screamed WE ARE HERE......but shhhh we dont want eeeeveryone to know :) I get off the plane go through all that beautiful paperwork and security and find my host dad standing outside with a sign reading my name. And off we head to cumbaya a suburb of quito. cumbaya is basically a city in the hills and it is also where my university is. So we are driving home and the traffic lets just say they have no rules.....which really was no suprise because argentina was the same. But we come to a stop sign and my host dad tells me we arent stopping if no one is coming because it is very dangerous here. At this moment going through my head is (welcome to ecuador....you´re going to die haha)
I still dont know how to feel about my safety. they assure me that if i´m careful I will be safe but there has to be a reason everyone lives in gated communities and there are gaurds everywhere. and they pay people to watch their cars while they go in stores. But i get to walk to school everyday so hopefully that will make me more comfortable with the area.
I will tell you all more later because i´ve had a pretty incredible time already. went to quito did the tourist things. stood in two hemispheres at one time. ate great food. went out with friends. met ecuadorians my age. convinced one to teach me how to dance :) and well just been living it up. but i have an orientation at 8 am :P so i will try and figure out why i´m swelling up from mosquito bites and then its off to bed! I need to make up for the lack of sleep I got last night :P

Saturday, May 29, 2010

the little things

I'm not sure where this came from it just came out...I can't decide if it makes sense or not but frankly I don't really care :D

Its te little things that put a smile on my face
The way the stream of water trickles off the rock beside a waterfall
the distinct colors of the river
The way his hand sneak around my waist when he surprises me from behind
The way the clouds tease the mountain peaks, hanging just out of their reach
The way his breath caresses my skin when he tells me a secret
the Way n eagle glides across the expanse of blue sky
How his goodbye kiss is like the stamp on the envelope taking me away
the way the wind sends fall leaves pirouetting across green lawns
How his arms protect me from nightmares @ night
The way a rainbow appears when least expected
How a feeling of happiness surges through my body when i hear his name
Its the little things
the way the world exposes its quirks
How he has grown to be
the way
the how
the little things that spark smile
A smile that could light the path home for the lost soul
bring joy to a complete stranger
give hope to the misguided
the smile that will remind me everyday I am away of what could have been
and what can be
The one that will catch your eye in a crowded airport and make you wonder what went wrong
maybe the one which will lead you back to me
or the one that gives you the strength to move on
my smile is fueled by the how and the way
and will never fade away
enjoy it in pictures of my many travels
or take me by the hand and claim it as you own
what makes you smile?

eleven minutes


This is a book I read in argentina and enjoyed in spanish but recently decided to read it in english to see if I actually understood it. I've only read it twice but each time I got something different out of it. It has some really important ideas for everyone in it. I will warn you that it is for the mature reader because it talks a lot about sex and prostitution. But if your really read it there is much more to get out of it than that :D I Know i'm always onthe hunt for a book that makes me think so I thought I would share on I found with you! enjoy

Friday, May 28, 2010

always think think thinking

I just finished an unforgettable four days in New york on a business trip/ vacation. The city was pretty impressive! i never really put NYC on the top of my list of places to visit but I'm very grateful for the opportunity and would love to go back. We got to see some amazing things :D But i won't go into detail about all that.
While in the city i received several comments of interest. Don't get me wrong they were all flattering but they ended up getting me a bit depressed. If i'm so beautiful and these many guys like me why have I been in the situations I have. I have so many mixed emotions about love right now. One part of me just wants to give up and maintain the theory that if I'm meant to have it, it will find me. Another part of me wants to pursue the person I cant get off my mind maintaining the theory that if i want it i need to go after it. The problem with my first theory is if I'm just sitting around waiting I'm not living. A life well lived is full of decisions, mistakes and great memories. As humans we feel an emotion we have labeled as regret. this emotion, like a black poison, can kill you. Regretting your inaction is far harder to live with than any consequences from mistakes made.
My second plan is not lawless either for i greatly fear the Truth I've always lived by the opinion that if both people in a relationship/proposed relationship o not share the same attraction/feelings the said relationship will never succeed. Believing this I am afraid if i pursue this man Iwill find out he doesn't feel the same. And yes i know i am capable of moving on but the point is I don't WANT to. People say he must like me for all he 'puts up' with and some things that have happened. but they don't realize that yes! friends are supposed to have your back. And honestly I don't want to assume. I need to hear it straight from him one way or the other. But as long as i remain afraid I will remain consumed by the darkness of the unknown.
A third theory needs to be discovered and I am certain one day I will find it.
Someone recently told me that I am going to ask a lot from a man in a relationship(in a good way) He is going to have to be very secure with himself. being in a relationship with me is an intimidating idea. Although it was meant as a compliment of how I have a good head on my shoulders, I'm going places, and that I am an attractive woman. I'm not sure the comment is sitting well with me. I never thought myself intimidating. I was taught all the above attribute were desired in a person as well as compassion, humor, intelligence and many more things. But if we desire these things in a partner why is it that when I contain them the idea of having a relationship with me suddenly becomes intimidating? Are we afraid to take what we desire? Or are we afraid we wont be everything the other desires?
In the city a young music artist stopped me, complimenting my eyes and physical features. He talked me up and offered me a place to stay if i would stay with him. After i politely declined he settled for a hug and sneaked a kiss on the neck. Along with one final attempt to get my number. This proved to me that the intimidating barrier could be broken but also reinforced my desire for a man to not only fall in love with my looks but let his love of my personality fuel his desire to be with me.
On a different note I want to touch on me saying yes to life. I've always been a very outgoing person. Sure a little quiet at first but no doubt outgoing. There was a time in my life where I held back a little. I would put myself in situations of plenty opportunity and instead of taking advantage of every opportunity i would settle for one or two. It took me along time to admit to myself that this was what I was doing. I finally came to terms with it and vowed to work on changing it. Slowly I have been making progress and hope to continue doing so.
Life is a mountain to be climbed. Every tree,stream, rock and crevice to be discovered while experiencing te ups and downs on the way to the peak. One an choose to take the chairlift, bypassing every experience on the way, only to be dropped off at the peak and abandoned on the decline. The other option is to start up the mountain on foot. This option will be full o joy, memories and experiences. Some which will require the climber to continue on hands and knees. But when the peak is reached a euphoric feeling will saturate the body. The decline will not be a sad story of abandonment but rather a decent full of friends, family and memories to be revisited. What ever path you decide to take, go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Me, I'll be lacing up my hiking boots and setting off on a never duplicable journey. I hope to see you on the trail and if I happen to see you above my head I'll be sure to send you a caring smile, because it may just help you on your plummet from the peak. It could become the branch you catch on the way down that gives you one simple memory to hold on to.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

bittersweet

is leaving a blessing or a curse?
this bittersweet taste still lingers on my tongue

Saturday, April 17, 2010

shit happens

So lately I've been going through some shit and I just wanted to say thanks to all my friends who are there for support. wether they know what i'm going through or not them just being around is help enough. Thanks to those who didnt ask questions when I didn't want to talk. Thanks to those who listened on the way to class when I was ready to talk. Thanks to those who did me crazy favors and acted like it was nothing out of the norm. And thanks to all the amazing hugs which make my day all that much better. Shit happens but thats why I'm glad to have friends like all of YOU!!!!!


Everytime he talks to you, you get this feeling
you've been searching for the word to describe it
but nothing seems to fit
ell let me help you out
VULNERABLE
he wants to know answers your not ready to give
makes you feel bad no matter the answer
puts you on the spot
doesn't listen
tears down your shield
and doesnt stop there
he finds your weaknesses, skewers them and throws them on the grill
you ignore him
he persues you harder
you fee like you have no control
fal asleep in the fetal postition
the only way you feel safe
he's got you so vulnerable
now what will he do with you
you hold hugs longer
hoping the arms holding you in will hold him out
hold peoples hands
wishing they never leave you alone
vulnerable, girl
he's got yu so vulnerable

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

goodbye

Silently standing in the middle of a canyon
emptiness surrounds me
the tall walls cast their judgmental shadows
all my energy has been used up
but all i have produced is an empty void
a river of tears runs through my canyon
tears I've cried for him, tears I've cried for myself
tears i wish to cry no more
you've dried up all my emotional ports
i tried to help you but i hurt myself in the process
luckily i have someone who is willing to old my hand
he helps me think about my own needs
he tells me to just ignore you and that may just be what i have to do
it will take time to fill my canyon
but with the support of others i ill fill it with love and happiness
with you around my efforts will be cancelled out
so i have to say goodbye
and focus on y canyon and filling it to the top
the blue sky will again be within my reach
4/13/10 Sitting in sw and inspiration strikes!

Monday, March 29, 2010

leaving a comment

If you would like to leave a comment(I would really appreciate it) and you don't have a google account thats ok! you can just click submit comment as anonymous and then you can put your name in the body of the comment! thanks for reading :D

realization of what I already knew

So I'll start with the disclaimer! I have no problem with being single....I actually think its needed from time to time. Heck some people are better single and that's a OK with me. But people always ask me: so why have you never had a boyfriend? And I've never really came up with a solid reason why, not the right time, not the right guy, I like being alone and the list goes on..... But this weekend Had a very nice conversation with one of my friends. I was kinda down and he was trying to empower me to go after what I want and unintentionally he made me feel like crap for the way I think. And I thank him for that. Because it bugged me all day and night :/ along with some other college drama. So I sat down this afternoon to write about the other drama trying to get it off my mind but ended up realizing something I already knew. The first step is to admit I have a problem. well we can check that off the list today:D thought I would share what I wrote just for myself......to get it out in the open and maybe it won't be so daunting!


Incapable of love?
Many of reasons I have come up with for the reason which I am 'alone'
and always have been.
But all they amount to are a pile of excuses
I don't need anyone, I don't like anyone, I like being alone, jerk, not my type, to talkative...........
I fall for those who are leaving
And if they aren't leaving, I am.
It a method of self defense
but it has become a method of self destruction
I am the reason
truth be told deep down Ive discovered the reason
I'm scared
scared of opening up
scared of being vulnerable
scared of caring for a person
and even scared of having someone care back
scared of becoming attached
and scared I'll be taken away
I'm not sure how to break this destructive pattern
secretly I tell myself when the right person comes along none of this will matter
but is my rut to deep to jump out of?
I need a rope thrown down to me
and a patient hand to pull me up
For this is not going to be easy
And the dirt may crumble as I try to climb
but I want o get out
no matter how hard the battle
no matter how long it takes
I'm ready to get out!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

unspoken vow

10 years ago we committed an act
A passionate act of love.
No words were spoken,
But a vow was made.
It’s been 10 years but the words still linger on my mind.
But you, you're nowhere to be found.
Skipped out of our universe like a stone across a placid lake
Your ripples reeking havic on the divine shores.
You left us behind.
Didn’t glance back.
What happened to our unspoken vow?
*
The fateful night 10 years ago was bursting with lust
Love overflowed my glass.
The act flowed as easily as the stream down green mountain sides.
Let me take you back to that night
10 years ago
*
Just like the millions of tiny stars overwhelm the night sky
Your sweet scent overwhelms my lungs as I draw a deep breath in.
I draw you closer to feel the rise and fall of your chest on my palm
*
Like a strawberry with its seeds
My tender kisses begin to freckle your skin.
*
Passion takes over your body as you run your fingers through my hair.
Your hands like the wind meandering through fields of lavender
Wanting to touch every strand and never let go
*
Our anticipation rising exponentially with every second that passes
Like a waterfall, intensity swells with every inch as your hands slowly run down my sides
*
A ripple of emotions runs through my body, like the ripples of water in a pond
I crave for your touch like a bee craves the nectarous taste of honey
*
Looking into your eyes I see not two simple things
But rather many elements of your soul
Like the Sassafras tree the true beauty lies hidden in its tiny yellow flowers that make up its whole
For a moment I get lost in all that you are
*
Your smooth skin sensually skims across mine
Treating me like the cream colored perfection that are the Magnolia petals
*
The warmth of our bodies and hearts fill the room like the soft amber glow of a fire
Like the light wispy clouds envelop the regal peaks of Patagonia you delicately caresses my face
Chills as cold as the ice blue glaciers run up my spine
*
Your body, the powerful waves of the ocean, repeatedly crash into me, the shore
*
Two halves become one
*
For a brief moment my body feels elevated and I become one of my fellow redwoods reaching for the bright blue sky
We get lost in every spiritual, exciting and erotic part of the moment
*
Like an avalanche running down the mountain side pleasure runs through my body
Saturating every ounce of my being
My body can't handle any more of this addictive drug
A scream lets out the volcanic energy as my toes curl under
*
Looking through the Hubble telescope the dark sky reveals the magic of the butterfly nebula
Spreading its lacey violet wings trillions of miles across the dark expanse
You were my telescope
*
Your gentle kisses bring me back to earth with the same tranquility 'leaves contain when falling from a tree' - 'as a falling leave'
The weight of your body comforts me
Dun dun dun dun of your heart like raindrops on my window, soothe my soul
*
Since that night I have never experienced such a strong soothing feeling
Or amazing connection
It’s been 10 years
10 years since...
*
We made the decision for no protection.
Together
We were both ready
Excited
And if you weren't you sure fooled me
No protection
Simple
*
But something else came with that decision
We never sat down and talked about
The vow
*
But its presence was known
We made an unspoken vow
One that would last and last
*
At least it was supposed to
*
Nine months later
Sitting in the waiting room
Excitement in the air was so crisp
If bitten into an indulgent crunch would reverberate
Throughout the walls like a child biting into a fresh picked peapod
*
For about 7 years our house was flooded with love and smiles
Slowly but surely nerves became rattled
We asked less questions
Touched less
Cared less
Respected less
LESS
*
Constantly our relationship became more and more transparent
Soon it was as fragile as dragonfly wings
With any strong wind or single raindrop ready to tear
*
There were nights I would lay awake next to you
But feel oceans away
Many hours I would spend wondering how we got here
How did we transition from the passion, the sensual touch, the addictive drug of pleasure?
To here
*
Constantly yearning for more
But every time I reach out my hand draws back empty air
Although thy heart would ache if I let you go
(I could do it)-say more eloquently
*
When we committed our erotic rendezvous we became the second most important
We gave up the right to make decisions based on what’s right for us
Our responsibility is to them
*
What is best for our children?
*
In times this means we must sacrifice our wants
They come first in everyway
*
At some point you let our vow sail away
And here I sit n the dock counting the waves which pass by
Wondering
Which one will bring you round?
*
Ever since I could remember I have been an independent soul
I contain the ability to take care of myself
And have gained the strength to lift m children’s hearts up to their dreams
We can make it alone.
But we shouldn’t have to make due
*
10 years ago,
Together
We made a vow
An unspoken vow but its strength runs deep in our souls
Together we have to give them the confidence that their dreams can be reality
Without your presence they are living in constant deficiency
*
Getting you to remember the words we never spoke is beyond my control
I cannot clip the wings upon which you soar
I can only hope that one day the words will resonate in your ears
Haunt you at night
Leave you with many a sleepless night and restless days
(Until you remember where your responsibility lies)-say different
*
For 10 years ago
Your sweet sent overwhelmed my body
I drew you closer
Passion took over your body
Waterfalls ran down my sides
Chills ran up my spine
The waves of the ocean crashed onto my shores
You were my telescope to my out of body experience
And the rain beating on my window bringing me back to earth
*
You were the cosigner to our unspoken vow
That vow will never dissolve
Never waiver
(Now we are just waiting for your return)-say it profound
*
Please leave any input.......I love praise but constructive critism is great as well: D
p.s. spelling and grammar always come last for me so don’t worry about that!

little fish

These poems are kinda my attempt at writting poems with a little more structure......they tend to get kinda cheesy when I try to rhyme but they are cute :D I wrote them around valentines day so yea....


Hey little fish!
Guess who I miss
The one who makes my heart go
swish swish
To be with you would be pure bliss
so for today I have just one wish
Be with me and grant me this one kiss <3


Although today you I can not see
I hope you spend a minute to think about me!
I am very far away
To make it all ok, there is nothing I can say
Just know that I love you
And will continue to do so as long as the ocean is blue
Don't let the distance get you down
I'll soon be coming around
Until we can reunite
keep my love always in your sight
Feel the warmth of my arms
wrapped around you keeping you safe
and one day again together we will be



Bittersweet is the distance that seperates our souls
everyday I think aout seeing your smile
I think about hearing your laugh
sharing your drink
and holding your hand
when I look and you're not around
my heart begins to ache
soon comes the realization that aches because I love you so dear
Everyday we are apart my love for you roots itself deeper
you are my hearts keeper
please keep it safe
for time and again I will come back to you
Sufficient words to express how deep my feelings go, there are few
As consistant as the morning dew caresses earch green sliver of grass
I promise my love for you will each day renew



So I really like the concept of this next poem but am having a super hard time finishing it :/
Sumerged in a world of beautiful clovers
I had to search all over
Until I found that one with a little something extra
Most clovers are happy with having three leaves
But the one I found has four
The sun enjoys kissing its surface
And its soul is free to soar

Every woman around you I feel have three dimensions
But you my love have four
The suns kiss reveals whats under your surface
And you eagerly let your spirit soar

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Cool picture I rediscovered! Its my cousin Keith :D

revival flight


This is not one of my favorites but the concept I liked. Wrote it on the way home from college.


Gray warn faux leather

fluorescent strips along aisle

out dated checkered carpet

fasten seat belt when seated

cruising altitude of 10000ft

10 f

flying over oceans who's sapphire gaze reviles inner truths

its deep intensity provokes a curios eye inward

secrets held there hidden from even the honest beholder

Grandiose canons spark thoughts

huge expanse now lay empty lacking soil but captivating viewers

whats missing from the daily routine called life

creating an expanse of blue canvas laking the warm red flicker of heart

but viewers come from mile around to observe the inexplicably blue monotony

Regal mountains quake the confidence prestablished

what can stand beside white capped daunting mountains such as these and not once wonder what beauty is

hearty avalanches,snapped timbers,and rocky cliffs reassure one that beauty lies within the flaws

tray tables and seat backs in their upright position

descent to cold hard pavement begins

in the soul of ever traveler a flicker of renewal accompanies them to the awaited destination.

the rain in spain


One day I was walking up the many stairs we have around here on the way to class and saw water dripping off a ledge. I stopped and just watched it for awhile, observing how one drop when coming into contact with the ground dispersed into many drops catapulting themselves into a larger radius. I thought about how peoples efforts do the same thing. It takes one person to start something and then bam a number of other people take the idea and extend the radius of the effort. <3


one visceral shaped drop

desperately hanging onto the edge

gravity anxiously waiting to make it plummet towards the unforgiving pavement

so much potential contained in one little drop

the height so daunting

fear of he unknown keeps the drop holding tight

holding tight to what it knows

all the while imagining what could be

optimism begins to take control

slowly it peels the last five fingers of fear from the faithful ledge

with everything the drop has it starts its decent

closer and closer and closer to the ground

until......BAM......the surface is penetrated

one drops efforts suddenly splash into 1,000 directions

Potential Hidden b/w the Senses

This poem I wrote when I felt kinda lost at college. For me its a metaphor to the potential hidden in all of us kids. We all have the potential to achieve an unfathomable grace but first we must be able to leave the nest. and yes we may have a hard time at first and we may make some stupid decisions but that's all part of the journey. here you have it:D
A birds Flight
At a young age little chicklings eagerly leave the nest
unable to wait for the world they spread their wings and jump
the feeling is so new and magical that at first they forget to flap their wings and quickly begin to descend.
panic begins to set in
Looking in all directions for some kind of help
Second by second fast approaching the ground
And then by some miracle the bird remembers all it has to do is flap its little wings
the whole time it had the potential to fly but with out that magical feeling and temporary memory loss it would have never realized it.
Now this may have been the most graceful part is yet to come.
For a time period our feathered friend plays around with technique and adds its own style
.
the length of time differs for every birdie
Eventually the bird reaches a level of grace not many can even fathom
the tips of its wings rise and fall
rise and fall
rise and fall
following the crests and troughs of a cosine wave
such grace which many strive for but few ever achieve
the potential lays hidden with in everyone
but only reveals itself to those who temporarily forget to do like the rest, experience that magical feeling of being 'free', and open their mind to the possibilities.
Potential Hidden Between the Senses

reasons unaware.

I wrote this one around the begining of first semester. I was going through a mix of really weird emotions.....most of which I couldn't explain. I wrote it while one day I just started crying. I felt as happy as a clam but tears just came rolling out. so i wrote while I cried. Enjoy :D

Tears gently roll down my cheeks
for reasons which i'm unaware
but who am i to stop such a beautiful thing
the familiar tingling of water filling the corners of her eyes
the water level slowly build in sync with everyones suspence
until the walls collape unable o hold all the emotion tainted liquid
slowly one tear slides down one rosey cheek
the first tear harshly drops to the chest
dispersing in all directions
the pace quickly increases
tear after tear run down that unforgivibly soft cheek
the tainted liquid begins to fill her green eyes faster than relief can come
a few droplets get caught in her long dark lashes
they capture the sunlight in such a way it sends a rainbow of colors into the universe
for a brief moment her soul opens for everyone to see
as the saturated lashes bow to nature
her soul once again sews itself shut
and sinks into the many layers o her being
hidding itself from danger
until the next cherished time
tears gently roll down my cheeks

Nineteen

I'm in the mood to add some of my poetry to my blog so I'll do just that :D Enjoy

29 eyelashes slowly reach for each other
When sweet embrace is achieved every muscle in her body relaxes
Lovingly intertwined they hold their position
Sun elegantly beating on her back
Hair flowing carelessly in the wind
101 pairs of eyes dangerously glancing in her direction
She sees not
But rather she feels
In every ounce of her body she feels
One deep heavenly inhale
As the air rushes in
The beauty is dispersed
Through every curve and crevice
To the darkest temptations held in her soul
The beauty of having life, love, and good health take over
Grateful for another day
Thankful for experiencing another moment such as that one
where 29 eyelashes hold their embrace and the beauty of life rushes in.
Nineteen 10-05-09

Sick of being sick


Can I just say being sick SUCKS! hahah I've been sick for the past week and a half. After going to the doctor three times they finally decided to prescribe me some meds :D so I'm on the track to recovery! Oh and can I say I know my body better than anyone else. I suggested the two things I could possible have the first time I went to the doctor......they said nah prob not the case.............many days later, after 4days of having a fever over 101 oh guess what you have pneumonia and infections in both ears! Hello? did I not say that when I came in the first time? Oh well I'm just happy that I finally am getting better.


On a very happy note I am pleased to share with you that I GOT ACCEPTED to the study abroad program that I applied for. I'll be studying in the Galapagos this fall semester with a focus in marine biology. Then hopefully over christmas break I will be able to meet my argentina family in brasil for the holidays. And In january I will return to Ecuador to study spanish in Guayaquil. Its one of the biggest cities there....2million people :O !!! I am super excited that I have this opportunity as just a sophmore :) Now I'll be working my butt off to make some money. If you have any ideas of a job or scholarships/grants I could apply for please give me the heads up! Thanks <3>


This poem is about my love of hot chocolate and how a hug can mean so much.


Bittersweet chocoate

frothy warm milk

a cube or two of sugar

residing in one saphire mug

Homogenized by that silver spoon

I see him from across the room

our eyes meet

a silent hello

we find ourselves looking at eachother again

I flash him a smile

asking permission for his embrace

like one tests their cup of hot chocolate

I wait for his smile to let me know i won't burn my tongue

casually we make our way twords eachother

one blows on the rich liquid while it rests in that silver spoon

until its safe to let it run down the throat

warming the body.

his body slowly warms me up

his irresistable aroma finds its way inside my mind

we hold our embrace

the marshmellows slowly begin to melt

as the tongue traps it between the roof of the mouth, the tough center can still be found

As I begin to melt he tightens his embrace

letting me know he's not going anywhere

sip by sip the hot chocolate is emptied from the mug and fills the stomach

as the bottom of the mug becomes visible the richest chocolate enters the body

his arms loosen

a quick kiss on the head lets me know he cares

one last tight squeeze before its over

an empty saphire mug sits on the table beside it rests a silver spoon

the body overwhelmed with a warm comfort

the bittersweet chocolate bites the tongue because the moment is over too soon

the mind in a euhoric state, dreaming of the next mug of delectable hot chocolate

Hot Embrace 11/16/09

Monday, March 1, 2010

Over a year

Its been over a year since I wrote on this blog hopefully I'll be able to keep up with it this time :D I'll start by posting a super rough draft of a free verse poem/spoken word I've been workingon. My goal for this poem was to make it LONG! so here it is......Let me know what you think! honestly :) I could use any input i can get.



10 years ago we committed an act
A passionate act of love.
No words were spoken,
but a vow was made.
Its been 10 years but the words still linger on my mind.
But you, you're nowhere to be found.
Skipped out of our universe like a stone across a placid lake
Your ripples reekinghavic on the divine shores.
you left us behind.
didn't glance back.
What happened to our unspoken vow?
*
The fateful night 10 years ago was full of lust
love overflowed my glass.
The act flowed as easily as the stream down green mountain sides.
Let me take you back to that night
10 years ago
*
Just like the millions of tiny stars overwhelm the night sky
your sweek scent overwhelms my lungs as I draw a deep breath in.
I draw you closer to feel the rise and fall of your chest on my palm
*
Like a strawberry with its seeds
My tender kisses begin to freckle your skin.
*
Passion takes over your body as you run your fingers through my hair.
your hands like the wind_____ through lavender fields- 'fields of lavender'
wanting to touch every strand and never let go
*
our anticipation rising exponentially with every second that passes
like a waterfall, intensity rises with every inch as your hands slowly run down my sides
*
A ripple of emotions run through my body, like the ripples of water in a pond
I crave for your touch like a bee craves the sweet taste of honey
*
Looking into your eyes I see not two simple things
But rather many parts of your soul
Like the Sassafras tree the true beauty lies hidden in its tiny yellow flowers that make up its whole
For a moment I get lost in all that you are
*
Your smooth skin sensually skims across mine
treating me like the cream colored perfection that are the Magnolia petals
*
THe warmth of our bodies and hearts fill the room like the soft amber glow of a fire
Like the light wispy clouds envelop the regal peaks of patagonia you delicatly caresses my face
Chills as cold as the ice blue glaciers run up my spine
*
your body, the powerful waves of the ocean, repeatedly crash into me, the shore
*
Two halves become one
*
For a brief moment my body feels elevated and i become one of my fellow redwoods reaching for the bright blue sky
We get lost in every spiritual, exciting and erotic part of the moment
*
Like an avalanche running down the mountain side pleasure runs through my body
Saturating every ounce of my being
My body can't handle any more of this addictive drug
A scream lets out the volcanic energy as my toes curl under
*
Looking through the hubble telescope the dark sky reviels the magic of the butterfly nebula
spreading its lacey violet wings trillions of miles across the dark expanse
You were my telescope
*
Your gentle kisses bring me back to earth with the same tranquility 'leaves contain when falling from a tree' - 'as a falling leave'
The weight of your body comforts me
Dun dun dun dun of your heart like raindrops on my window, soothe my soul
*
Since that night I have never experienced such a strong soothing feeling
or amazing connection
Its been 10 years
10 years since...
*
We made the dexision for no protection.
together
we were both ready
excited
and if you weren't you sure fooled me
no protection
simple
*
But somethingelse came with that decision
we never sat down and talked about
the vow
*
But its presence was known
we made an unspoken vow
one that would last and last
*
atleast it was supposed to
*
Nine months later
sitting in the waiting room
excitment in the air was so crisp
if bitten into an indulgent crunch would reverberate
throughout the walls like a child bitting into a fresh picked peapod
*
For about 7 years our house was flooded with love and smiles
slowly but surely nerves became rattled
we asked less questions
touched less
cared less
respected less
LESS
*
Constantly our relationship became more and more transparent
soon it was as fragile as dragonfly wings
with any strong wind or single raindrop ready to tear
*
There were nights I would lay awake next to you
but feel oceans away
many hours I would spend wondering how we got here
How did we transition from the passion, the sensual touch, the addictive drug of pleasure
to here
*
Constantly yearning for more
But everytime I reach out my hand draws back empty air
Although thy heart would ache if I let you go
(i could do it)-say more elequintly
*
But what happened to our vow?
The words we never spoke, but would enlace us with a responsibility greater than any ever before felt, for a minimum of 18 years
*
When we committed our erotic rendevouz we became the second most important
we gave up the right to make decisions based on whats right for us
our responsibility is to them
*
What is best for our children?
*
We made the unspoken vow
and eversince each made decision, each action, each act of kindness should have been in the interest of our precious children
*
In times this means we must sacrifice our wants
They come first in everyway
*
At somepoint you let our vow sail away
And here I sit n the dock counting the waves which pass by
wondering
which one will bring you round?
*
Ever since i could remember I have been an independent soul
I contain the ability to take care of myself
And have gained the strength to lift m childrens hearts up to their dreams
we can make it alone.
But we shouldnt have to make due
*
10 years ago,
Together
we made a vow
an unspoken vow but its strength runs deep in our souls
we must put ourselves aside and focus on them
give them the opportunity to live in a house emitting protection, trust, fun....(add more to build pace)
Together we have to give them the confidence that their dreams can be reality
*
Our responsibility lies in them
Without your presence they are living in constant deficiency
*
Getting you to remember the words we never spoke is beyond my control
I can not clip the wings upon which you soar
I can only hope that one day the words will resonate in your ears
haunt you at night
leave you with many a sleepless night and restless days
(until you remember where your responsibility lies)-say different
*
For 10 years ago
your sweet sent overwhelmed my body
I drew you closer
passion took over your body
waterfalls ran down my sides
chills ran up my spine
the waves of the ocean crashed onto my shores
you were my telescope to my out of body experience
and the rain beating on my windo bringing me back to earth
*
You were the cosigner to our unspoken vow
that vow will never dissolve
never surrender
(now we are just waiting for your return)-say it profound
*
Please leave any input.......I love praise but constructive critism is great as well :D
p.s. spelling, and grammer always come last for me so dont worry about that!