2nd continued and begining of third

I don’t want to live in a place like this. Its not the number of people, its not the crazy driving, its not the cat calls, its not the heat or humidity, its not the fact that nobody ever has chance, es que la gente vive con miedo. I cant stand it! I don’t know how many times my mother has told me things I learned when I was little(don’t tell people where you live, don’t talk to strangers, don’t take offers from men…) I would be ok with this advice if I was still little but im a grown young woman and I know precautions I should take. I know this is a sign that she is treating me like her daughter but its driving me bananas. Maybe mainly because it makes things even more difficult to be with my fiancé. In Alaska I would get in a car no matter the hour to be by his side…the greatest fear being the weather. But I know how to handle the weather. Here I cant go anywhere without the fear of the ‘world’ following me. And as of now I don’t know how to handle this fear, And since the people here don’t give me the chance maybe I wont learn before its too late. And the fear people live in here, is crazy! My host mom tells me not to let the girls at my work play with my hair because they will get ideas about touching me other places.- They are girls! Girls play with hair! That’s why we have it. Or don’t make the girls mad because they have friends in gangs and will have them hurt or even kill you- not everyone is going to harm you. She has also told me some other things I feel like are oerly precautious.
If we live in fear, they have already won!
Family- this word forms invisible bonds of steel. Hearing the girls at my work talk about family has really made me think about the strength and odd bond the word has. Most of the girls have been abandoned or abused by their family but the way they talk about their family is with such love. How can we still love the people who inflicted the most pain to us? Do we hope they will realize their unjust acciones and learn how to love? Or is it purely the fact that they are family and ALWAYS will be?...........blurb……….. Is it because we are all afraid to admit the truth that we all come from dysfunctional families? Or do we have our ‘family blinders’ on? Allowing us to only see the things that make us proud to call them family.

*Sometimes it takes more energy to feel useless than to actually do work.
In all the places I have volunteered throughout my life there have been times where I have felt absolutely useless. Of course most of the time I later realized that this was not the case. None the less I have noticed that during the times whin I feel like I’m doing nothing I go home much more exhausted than when I actually work. There must be a way to remind myself that just being around these girls is helping them, in one way or another.
Today we had a ‘family’ meeting at work. All the girls and all the women who work there gathered in the living room to have a talk. Thankfully I asked if I could join because I think it was something really important to witness. It helped me know more about how the foundacion works. We discussed where and why the girls were either staying at their current school or being moved to a new one. We also talked about the false impressions the community members have about the house(underfed, lice, rotten food, malcriadas) Why the people had these impressions and what needs to be done in order to get rid of them. Like living with a new family, becoming a part of a new foundation requires one to witness the workings of every aspect. Be it finances, public relations, heiarchy, problems, solutions, failures and successes.
Today we had a break through with the cook! Since we had arrived at the house I never felt like the cook enjoyed us being there. But today she fed us!!! A sure sign she doesn’t hate us. An after I told her it was like my mom makes at home she wanted us to try everything else.
Today the girls also opened up a bit more and started talking about their likes and dis-likes, crushes…..etc. And when they found out my boyfriend was Ecuadorian the news spread through the house like wildfire. * the bratty little girl was actually nice to me today! She even wanted me to stay longer….I hope this behavior continues on Monday.
Why do we still talk of time travel as impossible? We have already figured it out three times over! Trains, boats, cars and pplanes are ll at our fingertips. They can take us wherever the heart desires, but what about when its not physical distance we want to move but rather-time! Time machines are not sitting in our backyards but rather they are dsguiesed as everyday things. Could you imagineif the whole world knew about time machines? We would be in a real mess these days! But the inventor wasn’t called a genious for nothing….no he was so smart that he disguised his machine as many different things. They are so well disguised people travel through time and don’t even realize what they just did. Im here to give the world a hint! It is time we stop fearing the possibility of the knowledge falling into evil hands. It is time we take advantage of it and use it for good. Let me tell you three little stories and give you three chances to figure out where this ‘magic’ could be.
1. Its January 2nd 2011 and upon our arrival to Guayaquil my boyfriend and I decide we should stop for a quick bite to eat. Seeing that it is pretty late at night most places are closed until we stumble upon a little place selling pan de yuca and yogurt. The man was getting ready to close up shop so he offered to give us the lot of pan de yucca at a disount if we bought yogurt. I had never tried the pan de yucca but I agreed to it anyway because my boyfriend ensured me it was delicious. The yogurt is different here…..I am much more willing to consume it. Today we choose mora flavored, as we slowly sipped the liquid up the straws a delicious flavor of fresh blackberries tickled our tast buts at an orgasmicly cold temperature. Just before the chills ran across our skin we stoppe to take a quick bite of the little balls of delicousness known as pan de yucca. The lats thing I remember was reaching for my straw in search of the addicting flavor of fresh! And before I knew it I was sitting in a café called San Jose’s with my little sister in Resistencia argentina on January 2nd 2007. I reached the straw but instead of tasting fresh a suprising shock of chocolate reassured me that something was going on. In front of me sat 2 little balls of deliciousness but my sister refered to them as chipa. Curious, I reached out and took one…. My tongue felt the same texture but the after tast threw me into a spiral back to the worried eyes of my boyfriend- ‘are you ok mi amor?-